Background
Battle Croquet, known as “The Queen of Sports,” is a steampunk-inspired game originating in the UK. It’s based on the “rediscovered original rules of Croquet” and was first conceived in 2013 by Conrad Ormsson and Kevin Leech during a planning meeting in New Malden, UK. Developed by a dedicated team of UK steampunks, Battle Croquet is a fast-paced, surreal, and highly competitive team game. Two teams of three players each compete on the battlefield, overseen by at least four referees (three line referees and one head referee) and one ‘bomb warden.’
Equipment
The game requires six mallets, eight balls in paired colours, sixteen hoops, and four pegs. Additionally, the game includes at least four fez hats, six bouquets of flowers (three of one kind and three of another), and one ‘time bomb,’ which is a timer that rings when it goes off. One mallet must be marked (usually with a coloured band) to signify the ‘Spy.’ The other two mallets in the same colour belong to the ‘Grenadier Guards.’ Each team has four balls: two ‘Grenadier balls’ (e.g., yellow), one ‘Spy ball’ (e.g., red), and one ball placed on an upturned egg cup, representing the team’s ‘Field Marshal.’
Setting the Battlefield
The hoops are arranged in a 4×4 grid, with each row called a trench. Hoops in each trench face the same direction, but the orientation alternates between trenches (e.g., East/West in Trench 1, North/South in Trench 2). The four pegs define the boundary of the battlefield, and any ball that crosses the boundary incurs a penalty by the Head Referee. The objective is for a team’s Spy ball to traverse the trenches, passing through one hoop in each trench, and then knock the opposing team’s Field Marshal off its egg cup throne.
Roles
- The Spy: The Spy ball is the only one allowed to knock the Field Marshal off its throne.
- The Grenadier Guards: The Grenadier Guards protect the Spy as it navigates the trenches and defend their Field Marshal from the opposing team’s Spy.
- Line Referees: Line referees ensure that balls pass through the hoops correctly as they cross trenches. If a ball crosses a trench without passing through a hoop, the line referee stops play by throwing their fez onto the battlefield and communicates the foul to the Head Referee using sign language, interpretive dance, or charades. Line referees may blow whistles to aid in their duties. They can become distracted by bouquets of flowers, causing them to focus solely on the flowers until they’re satisfied with their understanding of the arrangement or when a Field Marshal is defeated.
- Head Referee: The Head Referee hosts the game, explaining the rules to players and spectators and interpreting fouls communicated by the line referees. The Head Referee’s decisions are final. They may also become distracted by bouquets of flowers, similar to the line referees, until the Field Marshal is defeated.
Objective
The primary goal is for a team’s Spy ball to dethrone the opposing team’s Field Marshal by knocking it off its egg cup. The team that achieves this wins the game.
Gameplay
Teams alternate turns, with all three members of one team playing simultaneously. Each player gets three strikes per turn, attempting to navigate the trenches. Once all players have taken their turns and any penalties have been applied, the other team plays.
Battle Duration and the Time Bomb
A designated Bomb Warden starts each game by setting the time bomb (or a stopwatch) to go off after eight minutes, marking the end of a battle. If neither team has defeated the opposing Field Marshal within this time, the bomb goes off, play stops, and the teams switch sides. A game consists of two eight-minute battles. If neither team defeats a Field Marshal within that time, a draw (or “Truce”) is declared, and players must shake hands with enthusiasm.
Fouls and Penalties
Crossing a trench without passing through a hoop is considered a foul, which is flagged by the line referee throwing a fez onto the battlefield. The line referee then communicates the foul to the Head Referee, who explains it to the spectators and applies a penalty. Penalties are at the Head Referee’s discretion and may involve retreating balls one or more trenches or resetting them.
Bouquets
Each player carries a bouquet of flowers and may throw it onto the battlefield at any time. When a bouquet is thrown, all referees become distracted, discussing the flowers’ beauty and ignoring the game. During this time, players are free to cheat.